future

i remember dreaming about the future
dreaming of wanting things to be just like they are right now.

i kept walking and i simply forgot
then, something beautiful happened
a new beginning started to emerge
a colorful sunrise peaking in the horizon began to unfold
at first, it was a little scary,
see i had forgotten about this dream and had given up on you.
i thought that is what you do when things don't go as planned
you just move on, you forget, you erase and start again

all the doors and windows, i had closed began to crumble
i felt exposed
i tried to run
other times i just avoided and pretended nothing was happening
but it didn't work
my heart was already exposed
i took things one step at a time without rushing
honoring the transparency that i was feeling
allowing vulnerability to come forth in a grounding and powerful way

all that time in between
i had been learning what love is
unconditional and true love
learning and practicing loving living beings unconditionally for who they are
not pretending to love them for what they give you emotionally, mentally or physically,
because that is just a game where i was just trying to get whatever it was that i wanted or needed.

i needed that time in between to learn how to care for myself
to know that i can be self-sustaining, that i can love myself
when i do, i am whole and complete
i come to you, family, lover and friend overflowing with love to give and to share

now, my dream of the future is manifested
and i remember
and i feel
when i looked toward the future and i saw what is now the present
when i looked toward the future and i saw a different way of relating
i knew that the possibility was there
it felt just like it feels right now
but now, i get to live it and i am glad that you are here to live it with me.