family explorations of the garden

These are all pictures taken by my five year old cousin on our visit to fairchild botanic garden. She loved it! I was so happy to explore with her and I was very impressed because a week earlier I had given her a book about monarch butterflies and she knew so much about butterflies. hands-on nature explorations always foster a love for nature and a natural and organic curiosity for learning.

andean mountains

i have a lot of catching up to do here. I will be uploading pictures of fairchild tropical botanic garden in coral gables soon with visits that i made with my family, mom and little cousins and another visit i made with some friends.

right now, i am writing as i sit at the fort lauderdale airport waiting to board a plane to go to Bogotá. It's the craziest, most beautiful feeling. I am nervous and excited, I actually have no expectations and most of all I feel so loved, in a matter of a few hours, actually really just minutes after planing my trip, people that I love, both family and friends reached out with messages and phone calls making sure that I would have everything I need while visiting, from a place to stay to ways to contact them. But what moved me the most is just to know how much they care and how much they love me.  It's been seven years!!!! since the last time I came and eight years since I moved away, however loved ones back home still write for birthdays and graduations and all of special occasion and it means so much. I really feel that they taught me through their example how to love unconditionally despite of distance and time, and how to be a good friend.

Driving to the airport, my eyes started to get watery and I know that I will cry for sure. I made sure to pack a box of tissues and I am ready to feel this whole experience with every single cell of my being, to allow every single cell of the andean mountain air be engraved in me, in my heart, in my body. My entire body feels extremely soft, it almost feels liquid.

So keep tuned, because I will make sure to take tons of pictures and I am sure that I will come back with stories of home, mountains, family, friends and I will come back a little bit more alive, more free, more myself. I am curious to see, how being back will affect me, change me and shape me and how it will feel to be back in the andean mountain range. I am praying for the altitude change to not be to bad.

feeling deeply

the path of activism has been a recent calling that has given me enormous passion and a way to externalize  my dreams for a better more just world. it's been rewarding and the most challenging path i have ever been on. now, i understand why i spent years devoting my life completely to yoga and meditation, so that i could begin this path with the inner strength to withstand the winds of hopelessness, anger and despair. 

today, i was reading julia butterfly hill's blog and i was so moved by the entry titled the meaning in life. 

"i LOVE how wonderful the Universe is sometimes. Other times, i rage into the darkness and feel like i have had enough of being alive. i am a woman of extremes it seems. i feel things deeply. Just about everything.

So when i feel delight and joy, i feel it completely. When i feel anger, sadness, and despair, i feel it equally deeply. Sometimes these feelings come in waves that are only moments apart.

And that is how my life has always been—except for the years i completely shut down and went numb because i did not know how to process it all. And sometimes, i still go through moments like that where i go through numbness and shut down.

But mostly, i work to remain present, open, loving, accepting, and in the space of gratitude. And the result is, i often end up having some pretty magical experiences."

i am the same way in terms of feeling, i feel things deeply and i think it's that openness to feel that has allowed to cultivate compassion for other beings, humans as well as all species in nature. i am writing this today, to reming myself, that even if the things i encounter in life, all the pain, all the suffering, all the injustice that lies underneath consumerism, capitalism, imperialism and all other ways of oppression existing in society today, become at points overwhelming, saddening and takes a toll in my own life. 

i will always keep fighting and standing up for all injustices in the world, for all the lives that are being sacrificed in the name of profit and that i will always strive to find ways to make this journey self-sustaining without becoming self-absorbed and that i will always strive to find new and creative ways and effective ways to stand up for you and for me and for us. i will always strive to give up a deeper part of myself and uncover new freedoms in which i can give my life more fully to being of service to the world.

my love and gratitude goes towards all the living beings that have stood up for social and environmental justice, those that have generously devoted their lives to protect the sacredness of all life and for all of you that have shared this road with me and have shown me my own power to create change. cheers for all the times we have celebrated our voice, our power, our interconnection and interbeing.

thank you so very much, i love you so much!!!! and because of you, i can continue this journey, i can keep fighting. may we keep supporting and celebrating each other for eternity!

Untitled

I heard today...
Luna's been cut.
Two-thirds and maybe more.

Someone in their rage,
in their anger,
in their frustration
struck out at Luna
wanting to hurt Her...
wanting to hurt me
the way they must be hurting inside.

See...
what we do to the Earth
we do to each other.
And how we treat the Earth
is reflected in how we treat each other.

The pain I feel right now that threatens to rip me apart
is the pain I feel every time I see an Ancient Elder cut...
the pain I feel every time another species goes extinct...
the pain I feel every time someone yells at a child...
the pain I feel every time another woman dies of breast cancer
caused by all the legal pollutants in her food,
her planet,
her life...
The pain I feel every time I think of Leonard Peltier locked inside
our prisons of disrespect and disconnect.
On and on and on
the pain in our world grows bigger and erupts.
Ricocheting bullets school yards and halls.
Chainsaws to sacred beings.
When do we begin to look at where this DIS-EASE begins?
In the disconnection from the sacred...
In the disconnection from the heart.

The person who ripped metal into Luna's flesh
is just as ripped apart inside as Luna now is,
as I now am,
as is the world.

May the tears that pour out from the depths of my soul
cleanse the sadness of any who would wish to react in rage.
The person who so viciously attacked Luna
has enough anger for the world.
May we love ever more
May we motivate ourselves to committed love in Action
May we motivate ourselves to live the life we wish to see in the world.
May we be the transformation we wish to see in the world.
From the inside out...
From the roots branching upwards...
From the heart
to thought
to word
to action.
Through life's trials and hardships
we can arise beautiful and free.

Julia Butterfly Hill

Beyond Boundaries

Imagine...
the possibilities.
Step out of the fears
of perceived reality
long enough to honor that some things
just can not be explained,
rationalized or quantified,
sorted or packaged.

Believe...
that wings of butterflies
can create
storms on the other side of the world.

Imagine...
that what we think we know
is only the scratching of the surface
of a deeper pool
of possibilities.

Believe...
that magic and ideals
are in the understanding
that we can never truly comprehend
the complete hows and whys
no matter how hard we try.

Imagine...
that there is more to what we see
than what we see
in the infinite sea
of possibilities.

Believe...
that somewhere in the questions
lies the purest answers.

Regardless of the proof
is the knowing.

In the knowing
is the being.

In the being
is the One
which enraptures
and enwraps
us all
in the infinite.

Possibilities that continue to unfold
as the bud of a flower
to the sun.
Petal by petal
opening and embracing
of the light, of something greater than ourselves,
yet at the same time
a vital,
integral
part of ourselves.

An opening,
an awakening
to the Oneness that is us,
to the Oneness that is all.

Julia Butterfly Hill

today

this morning, i found this little poem that i wrote this while traveling in the southwest spring of last year
this poem is dedicated to the beautiful night starry skies of the southwest desert

Today
a new day emerges
the sun rises in the horizon
with the promise of
a new beginning.
new experiences unfolding
a little deeper in the heart
expressing my true self
more fully
more alive
more me.

me as a child of the earth
me, inseparable from what
appears to be distinct from myself,
me as an extension of you.

acknowledging that
you are creating me
and i am creating you

mutually inclusive is our creative power
mutually existing
mutually dreaming
                             of better days of no destruction
                                                                              of humans and the whole of nature
for when i harm a human
i harm myself
and i harm the whole of nature

for when i harm apart of nature
i harm myself
and i harm the whole of nature

please i ask you
let's stop
let's surrender
let's uncover the unknown
let's create a new reality
a euphoric harmony for ll life to dance to
i would rather be happy than for the world to stay stagnant
i would rather be happy than keep doing what feels safe
i would rather see your dreams fulfilled than see you trapped by fear

we can only taste
what is possible
when we soar
above the impossible

take my hand
i'll take your hand
let's close our eyes
let's open our hearts
savor what it means to be fully alive
          

millones

Farmacéutica, trasatlántica, trasandina
Una vida se apaga porque le estorba
Que no se muera pronto pa’ darle la vacuna
Ellos dicen ser buenos reparten pastillas
Ay que pena que le da si se hace tira
Ellos dicen ser buenos reparten pastillas
Ay que pena que le da pero es mentira.

Quieren millones, millones, millones,
millones, millones, millones.
Millones, millones, millones,
millones, millones, millones.
Millones de alma en su inmensa cuenta
Millones de casas sobre la selva.

Y esto pasan los días, pasan las noches
Pasan todos los segundos que tomo té en la cocina.

Farmacéutica, trasatlántica, trasandina
Una vida se apaga porque le estorba
Que no se muera pronto pa’ darle la vacuna.

Quieren millones, millones, millones,
millones, millones, millones.
Millones de alma en su cuenta
Millones de represa en la tierra.

Ellos gobernaron: el pasado, la rutina, la energía
No gobernaran el futuro
Ellos gobernaron: el pasado, la rutina, la energía
No gobernaran el futuro, no
No gobernaran el presente, el futuro

Quieren millones, millones, millones,
millones, millones, millones.
Millones de alma en su cuenta
Millones de represa en la tierra.

a sense of balance

from the book in the house of the moon

"What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?" Thomas Merton

"if you want to become whole,
let yourself be partial.
if you want to become straight,
let yourself be crooked.
if you want to become full,
let yourself be empty.
if you want to be reborn,
let yourself be die.
if you want to be given everything,
give everything up"
    Tao te Ching

future

i remember dreaming about the future
dreaming of wanting things to be just like they are right now.

i kept walking and i simply forgot
then, something beautiful happened
a new beginning started to emerge
a colorful sunrise peaking in the horizon began to unfold
at first, it was a little scary,
see i had forgotten about this dream and had given up on you.
i thought that is what you do when things don't go as planned
you just move on, you forget, you erase and start again

all the doors and windows, i had closed began to crumble
i felt exposed
i tried to run
other times i just avoided and pretended nothing was happening
but it didn't work
my heart was already exposed
i took things one step at a time without rushing
honoring the transparency that i was feeling
allowing vulnerability to come forth in a grounding and powerful way

all that time in between
i had been learning what love is
unconditional and true love
learning and practicing loving living beings unconditionally for who they are
not pretending to love them for what they give you emotionally, mentally or physically,
because that is just a game where i was just trying to get whatever it was that i wanted or needed.

i needed that time in between to learn how to care for myself
to know that i can be self-sustaining, that i can love myself
when i do, i am whole and complete
i come to you, family, lover and friend overflowing with love to give and to share

now, my dream of the future is manifested
and i remember
and i feel
when i looked toward the future and i saw what is now the present
when i looked toward the future and i saw a different way of relating
i knew that the possibility was there
it felt just like it feels right now
but now, i get to live it and i am glad that you are here to live it with me.

healing

healing is a spiral

healing is a cycle

just like the seasons in nature

it's so cool to see relationships change and evolve

experience seedlings growing

plants blooming

and weeds being composted

be surprised to see things transform in ways

i knew in my heart were possible, 

but that at certain points in time

just seemed so impossible.

the heart is always right

patience is essential

to allow things in our lives 

unfold at the perfect time

for us AND for others

in that space of permeability

                    of letting go of our expectations

                    of surrender to you

                    of surrender to think of the best for us, you and me together

there is where the seed showered by rain and bathed by the sun sprouts, grows and blooms.

there is where the miracle flower of oneness, unconditional love and interconnection is quietly cultivated in our hearts.

seeds of sustainability and interconnection

In July, I had the opportunity to see many of my family relatives on mom's side of the family. I was especially touched to see the next generation in my family, my second cousins (my cousins children). They all have this awareness about the environment and love for nature and plants. Some are trying to grow at some of their own food in their finca and they all spend significant time outdoors. I was so happy to see that their lives are not totally consumed by video games and televisions. There is something so special in people when they have a  close connection and relationship to nature, you can see it in their eyes, they glow and somehow they have this gentle way of knowing how to care for people.

I was told a beautiful story about how one of my second cousins a few years ago, when he was probably 4 or 5. He asked his dad while looking at a piece of meat during a meal: "Dad is this meat from a dead or a killed cow"

His dad asked: "What do you mean sweatheart?"

He said: "If the meat comes from a dead cow, I will eat it, if the cow was killed so I could eat it then I don't want to this piece of meat Dad."

I took the girls on the walk around the backyard while teaching them about native florida plants. Exploring nature is a great way to explore our curiosity and to learn how to observe, reflect and know that we can learn though our own experience. It also teaches about respect for other living beings and all the different ways in which all living beings contribute to life. Learning to care for nature, we learn to care for ourselves, as we begin to uncover the interconnection of all beings and realizing that individual health and well-being is inter-related to the health and well-being of all beings on earth. 

I think it's also a process of expansion, as we let go of our attachment to our individual selves to care for others, not just other humans, but care and act in ways that protect and ensure healthy lives for other species as well. As we walk that path of expansion of care, compassion and interconnection, we begin to unveil the things that are really important to us and life sustaining and let go of things that are illusions and just temporary reactive responses such as consumerism and selfishness. We begin to be truly happy!

This experience was extremely touching and inspiring. Deep and long-lasting changes start within, family is so important to me and I know that if I want to be a leader and ensure that nature is protected and the earth is healed, my passion and love for environment needs to be passed on to others. No matter if my family is geographically far from me, I was so happy and inspired to see that all the things that are important to me, are great influences in their lives and things that I know are giving them access to care, nurture, life-sustaining and life-affirming qualities for them and all that surrounds them.

I have great appreciation for the beautiful family that I belong to and for all the moments I spend outdoors, close to nature.