prayer

May a good vision catch me

May a benevolent vision take hold of me, and move me

May a deep and full vision come over me, and burst open 


around me

May a luminous vision inform me, enfold me.

May I awaken into the story that surrounds
,

May I awaken into the beautiful story.

May the wondrous story find me;

May the wildness that makes beauty arise between two lovers

arise beautifully between my body and the body of this land,

between my flesh and the flesh of this earth,

here and now,

on this day,

May I taste something sacred.

david abram

YOU ARE NOT A GADGET

estuary

found in between
uncovering duality
bringing unity
dispelling illusion
manifesting oneness and biodiversity
reminding me that
"there is no duality in reality"

y asi de la nada

llegó ese tan esperado momento,
ese prolongado hasta luego.
aquel adiós que trató de atrapar
y guardar entre la luz del sol

escondiéndose, jugando y corriendo
para que la sombra
nunca la alcanzara ni a rozar, ni a bañar
pero que ella sabía
que en algún atardecer
la alcanzaría
pues no hay tiempo que sea linear
en su corazón todo vive en el tiempo de la espiral

probablemente la alcanzaría
al caer el sol
durante una tarde de otoño,
en la cual se encontraba,
como entre en un sueño absorbida
debajo de la copa de un árbol,
mirando una dozena de mariposas zebras
perchando en la ramita de un árbol

todas las mariposas junticas
volando y llegando a casita,
a esa ramita que es su hogar
durante todas sus vidas

así fue,
durante ese misma noche,
la luna estaba llena
y trajo consigo la marea
alta y fuerte

ella sintió dentro de sí misma,
el oceáno entero,
el palpitar y el movimiento de las olas,
un llamado intenso
que fluía al mismo ritmo de la marea

ella se dejo llevar
dejó que su ser interior se invadiera, se impregnara
por la esencia de la marea, la luna y el oceáno

poco a poco
esa intensa alta marea interior
fue rompiendo su pasado
poco a poco
con la ayuda de la luna llena
que brillaba resplandesciente
fue abriendo espacio
como removiendo piedras del caúdal de un río

en ese espacio
donde antes habitaba su pasado,
donde antes habitaban grandes piedras,
quedó la tranquilidad y la serenidad
la posibilidad de un nuevo amanecer
pintado con los colores de sus sueños

y ahí,
dejó su pasado
se vació de el,
se despidió de el
sin explicarle nada
simplemente,
ella lo dejó ahí
en la orilla del oceáno
emprendió su viaje
hacia el estuario
ese puente entre todas las aguas y la tierra firme
emprendió su viaje
hacia el equilibrio de todos los elementos

ajo pachamamita

earth my body
water my blood
air my breath
and fire my spirit

i am born of the elements x4

earth my body soil and sand,
make me strong heart and hand.
water my blood flowing strong,
lead me with your healing song.
air my breath blowing true,
let my life take flight in you.
fire my spirit burning bright.

i am born of the elements

happy navaratri!!!
had an amazing navaratri celebration this year, during the last 10 days culminating yesterday.

eating starfruits picked up from the ground, sitting by the fire, healing with the warmth of stone ancestors, cleansing my soul in a sweat lodge, meditating, eating wholesome and organic foods, community meals, satsang, being with great friends, beautiful hugs, night conversations lit by starlight, sweet dreams, amazing breakfast cooked by friends, connected with old friends from my sangha

ajo abuelitas las piedras
i will listen to you carefully, to hear your wisdom and advice
you bring so much healing and warmth to my life
you are so strong and remind me of the power of fire and warmth
dissipating any blockages
i am emptying myself to be full
letting go to receive
i am grateful for all that is given to me
connecting to non-linear cycles
creating space in my life
simplifying to discover depth
seeking wildness
searching for wild places
walking in the direction of the path of heart-wholeness

following my heart

last week, i went on an amazing camping trip in the everglades. the moon was beautiful, the sun was heart-warming, amazing heart to heart conversations, creating closeness with living being in my environment. i am recognizing more and more plants, finding it enjoyable to sit down with a quiet mind and breathing deeply without the need to "be doing something", being with a place and all living beings that inhabit it. the bird season has just begun and i spent a lot of time observing blue herons, anhingas and sand hill cranes. i remembered the depth found when being immersed in natural environments. i did not miss technology at all. i saw how it creates a false impression of relationship, when many times it's just the convenience of a click of a button.

since then, i started taking a mindful break from technology, began journaling more and writing letters to friends. i love using my hands to create. i want to keep in touch with people through care and interaction that is more tangible than a click in cyber space. slowly using my cel phone less and less, thinking about a way to not be attached to a phone and its screen. considering closing my blog and sharing my journal with all that would like to and having conversations about life more openly.

i feel a deep transformation unfolding in my soul, finding my true self and tapping into my essence, my happiness. there's a more stable freedom unleashing from that space. i am grateful to be able to stop and engage critically with my inner self when i reflect on my life. I CAN CHOOSE MY HAPPINESS, i do not have to blindly follow what society "dictates", it's ultimately my choice and responsibility to find the rhythm of my drum/ my heart and dance and flow through life while honoring my own rhythm. things in life change, it's part of growth, no need to be the same every single day. the beauty of cycles is that no day is ever the same. allowing myself to go through change opens the door to explore uncovered territory and journey into the discovery of unlimited possibility.

i can feel shivers all over my body as all my cells realign themselves as i let them be who they want to be without repressing them or forcing them to be a certain way. letting go of the need to be accepted, letting go of that insecurity and cultivating gentle self-confidence.

for peace and stability

on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya
on namo narayanaya

last stage of metamorphosis

Recently hatched atala butterflies observed at fairchild garden and about to take flight. Notice how the atala caterpillars devoured all the leaves on the stem of the coontie where all the atala butterflies are hanging from.

metamorphosis

this morning, i saw in 6 atala butterflies that had just hatched, hanging from a countie plant. on that same plant several caterpillars where in the process of undergoing metamorphosis. i could see a few chrysalids very close to ending the metamorphosis process while some had just begun it. i could also see old, empty and dried chrysalids hanging from different leaves, more butterflies had hatched recently. i was amazed!! what is the ecological footprint of a butterfly and how many butterflies can one coontie plant sustain? A LOT!!! i was especially surprised because coontie plants are not big plants (in size) and this one plant is average size. i am loving the coontie plant everyday a little more, plus it's pretty cool that it's a living fossil, being on the earth since the dinosaurs' time. talk about adapting to your environment, changing and shifting while leaving your legacy behind.

 i went back a couple of hours later with some people and 4 of the 6 butterflies had already flown away. we stayed there for a few minutes and then we saw one atala butterfly, as it took flight for the first time and began it's new life, after metamorphosis.

so much to learn from nature... what comes after the quiet stage of the chrysalid? it seems as if nothing is happening, when a deep change is happening within and behind the naked eye. suddenly the caterpillar is totally transformed, breaks its shell and the butterfly emerges and takes flight for the first time.

i believe metamorphosis in my life happens in that same way. every once in a while, moments of silence, quiet, restoration and contemplation lead to deep transformations within that transform everything in my life from the emotional to the physical. so beautiful to be able to grow and transform, to go with cycles, because it leads to something greater that no rational mind can explain. life is beautiful! the world is so much bigger than me and there is so much to learn from everything around, harmony and peace resonates in natural systems.

working at the garden

some of the cool things about working at the garden are:
-friday we harvested some basil and oregano to take some home and share with people
we left it at the entrance of our office building/house for people to take some home
our office smelled like fresh yummy herbs all days
-i got an amazingly beautiful avocado from someone's avocado tree today
-left-over lemongrass from the plant sale this weekend got planted in the learning garden
-having meetings at the porch of the gatehouse breathing fresh air

i love that the connection with plants is part of my work and that there is a community aspect too. community and sharing with others is so important. it's our garden, a beautiful place to walk and learn about beautiful plants, connect with ourselves, listen to the wind, see some birds. a place for tropical plants to be, a little gem in the middle of the city.

everyday, i like working with volunteers more. i love that their motivations are not based on any physical retribution (money), they are there because they care and are passionate about plants, the environment and passing that on...
seeing people's faces lighting up when they teach and when they are sharing their knowledge and wisdom with others.
seeing people's faces lighting up when they learn about the mind-blowing adaptations of plants and their interrelationships with their environment, with other animals...
there is so much light to be found in gardens, forests and swamps.

i give thanks to the plants, to their life-giving and life sustaining properties. for their close work with the sun and transforming that energy into beauty and food. plants sustain life physically and emotionally. they are humble with hidden secrets of wisdom within to be discovered when paying close attention.
observing and learning
learning and growing

bell hooks

ecofeminism informs my life
learning about ecofeminism empowers me in a patriarchal society
wings are lighter
ecofeminism for me is about reconnecting with my feminine, nurturing and playful side in a society that underestimates and forgets the importance of such qualities.
ecofeminism for me is about communicating freely without repressing or judging myself or others. it helps me honor myself, my life and my cycles.
i want to reclaim the feminine spirit for women and men alike
we both need balance just the same, the sun and the moon in equal measure,
bell hooks was my first conscious connection to feminism and i relate to her books a lot
here are some quotes, if they resonate with you, you should read her books. they are liberating and inspiring. she touches on many really interesting topics such as education, culture, patriarchy and sexuality in a deep, respectful, loving, caring, compassionate and bold way

"love is an action, never simply a feeling"


"If I were really asked to define myself, I wouldn’t start with race; I wouldn’t start with blackness; I wouldn’t start with gender; I wouldn’t start with feminism. I would start with stripping down to what fundamentally informs my life, which is that I’m a seeker on the path.  I think of feminism, and I think of anti-racist struggles as part of it. But where I stand spiritually is, steadfastly, on a path about love"


"all advocates of feminist politics know most people do not understand sexism or if they do they think it is not a problem. Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media"


i like this image a lot! i thought i would share it with you

soul transformations

when you change everything around you changes
internal transformations change everything in your environment
being back in south florida after being on the bus is a completely new experience
a new beginning,
a sunrise of the soul
strong circles and friendships remain
and many many others have dissipated and gone away
i am learning every day new ways of letting go
welcoming new circles, new beginnings, building a new community
a place that is nurturing and fulfilling at the deepest levels
letting go of all things that are not life-giving
letting things transition naturally
without avoiding the natural and organic process of decomposition

standing up in my own life for personal sustainability and balance
voicing my needs with courage and vulnerability
shaking things off
rejoicing under the sun and dancing in the rain
enjoying mindful movement and inner growth
discovering what it's like to be grounded
exploring to find the places where i can connect with nature on a daily basis
feeling supported by great friends close and far
appreciating those that are there for me unconditionally
there for me every step of the way
loving being there for you
supporting you for what is best for you
trying to learn to support others from their own dreams
kind of like a game of tele-transporting myself into their hearts and their deepest, purest dreams
when the door is open and the windows are clear,
it feels like swimming in cosmic bliss
recognizing those that are not there unconditionally without attachment or judgement
while allowing myself to feel that departure and knowing that it's just part of the bigger cycle of life

loving the process of discovering where balance between self-love and love for others is
deconstructing old limiting point of views
tuning in to that place of interconnection with others
where all separation vanishes
and i become one with you
while being completely myself and without the need to give up any part of my essence and uniqueness
there is strength in diversity in natural systems and within myself
inviting rainbows into my life and my heart
saying goodbye to black and white approaches
collaborating, building with equality,
bringing consensus as much as i know how to within the western society system
giving up quantity and slowing down to have quality time in my life
trying to create a calm, fun, colorful and inclusive nest for my life, an inviting energy unlimited possibilities flow and create all things necessary for the benefit, happiness and enlightenment of all living being in the world

Processing as Reflective Practice

So this past weekend, I had a processing short-circuit. My mind was overloaded and I felt a deep urge to take things lightly and reflect. This week, I had a breakthrough in how I implement reflective practices in my life. I remembered that while being on the bus, our community made an effort to process every experience, moving from one experience to the next with an overall energy of completion and ready to begin a new cycle. 

Since I came back, most days I spend at least some part of my day, usually in the evenings reflecting about my feelings, patterns, what took place that day. It has really become a grounding practice, a ritual in my life and I fell a huge difference when I don't do this. However, I just realized that this way of approaching reflection as a one daily event makes me move from one thing to the next without completion, and basically just catching up later. I know that usually it's a matter of time constraints, but i am now exploring ways to incorporate more processing and reflection into my daily life. 


This is my new plan:
-trying to reflect after each experience
-if time is not permitting, at least taking a deep breathe to acknowledge that i am moving from one thing to another
-devote more time to journal, draw, take nature walks and lay on the ground and look at the sky, stars and the clouds
-writing everything i want to and exploring and finding creative ways to express my reflections
-engage actively with my inner self and listen mindfully
-be more open and vulnerable to verbally process things with others that are willing
-honoring my needs without feeling that i should be or process any other way that is not the best for me
-slowing down and eating super healthy foods

true love is a beautiful thing

"happiness is only possible with true love. true love has the power to heal and transform the situation around us and bring deep meaning to our lives... 

When the Buddha's son Rahula was a young novice monk, the Buddha advised him to practice being like the Earth and its Oceans and Rivers. No matter what people pour onto the Earth wether milk, flowers, or compost, the Earth receives it all...

The River is immense, and it has the capacity to receive, embrace and transform...

If our hearts are big, we can be like the river. When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited and we suffer. We can't accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings and we demand that they change. But when our hearts expand, the same things don't make us suffer anymore. We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others. We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform. So the big question is: how do we help our heart to grow? with practice, your heart will become infinitely large like the heart of the Buddha, capable of embracing the whole cosmos."

Thich Nhat Hanh from Teachings on Love

Spanish Moss

We had a tropical storm in Miami today. I knew i wanted to be able to be outside comfortably so I wore rubber boots and a rain jacket to work today. I was waiting for the wind, but he did not come. Only rain, water drops flowing everywhere. I love playing in the rain and watching the water flow. Time changes and shifts, it slows down and calms me. Rainy days are great to reflect. During lunch, I went for a walk in the garden with a friend from work.  As soon as i stepped out from the office, I noticed that the spanish moss hanging from the beautiful live oaks in front of our building were green. I said surprised: "the spanish moss turns green with the rain!!" I did not know it can absorb water up to ten times its dry weight. The rain provides nutrients to the spanish moss which then turns green, he is alive. Other people at the garden already knew about this. I have seen many live oaks in my life before, but today was the first time in my life that I saw what happens to spanish moss hanging from an established live oak during a heavy rain storm. Today was a special day. The rain maginfied the enchanted and already magical energy of the community formed by live oaks, spanish moss, resurrection ferns and epiphytes that share a forest home.

Seeing the grayish/white moss turn green was not just wonderful. I was happy to see that I am connecting mindfully to my natural environment to notice and observe changes, shifts. Not long ago, I did not even know we had live oaks in south florida. My awareness about my natural environment is growing. I am becoming friends with my environment. 

During my exploration walk on the rain, I saw how different the garden was. Lichen colors were brighter and colorful, shades of stronger reds emerging. Frogs singing loudly. Everything seemed more alive. I felt more alive too, i wanted to run, play, draw plants, journal.

Then, I wondered about the desert plants at the garden and how they might feel during the heavy south florida storms. I wondered if they felt happy and then a little overloaded. It reminded me of when i take in too much and then i can't process it all. that is why i like to breathe slowly, deeply and mindfully whenever i remember to.

there is so much to learn from nature, only if we let ourselves do it. everything in nature relates to me. what is true in nature, is true in my heart.
i am nature and nature is me...

dreams

never ever ever give on your dreams
don't give up just yet
fight until the end by standing with an open heart
without resistance and total acceptance
no need to fight back
just look within and critically reflect through your heart
surrender, let your intuition guide you

your happiness is worth so much
your happiness is worth it all

right before you think dreams won't happen
you can take a leap of faith
you will see how far you can fly
and you will actually see that you won't crash

when you least expect it, your dream will come true

let your fears behind, kiss them goodbye...

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul." John Muir

Universal Prayer

0 Adorable Lord of mercy and love!
Salutations and prostrations unto Thee.
Thou art Satchidananda.
Thou art Omnipresent, Omnipotent and Omniscient.
Thou art the Indweller of all beings.

Grant us an understanding heart,
Equal vision, balanced mind,
Faith, devotion and wisdom.
Grant us inner spiritual strength
To resist temptations and to control the mind.
Free us from egoism, lust, greed, anger and hatred.
Fill our hearts with divine virtues.

Let us behold Thee in all these names and forms.
Let us serve Thee in all these names and forms.
Let us ever remember Thee.
Let us ever sing Thy glories.
Let Thy name be ever on our lips.
Let us abide in Thee for ever and ever.

The above non‑sectarian prayer is most suitable for being repeated during all common gatherings. It is cosmopolitan and all‑embracing. This is a beautiful universal prayer that you should repeat daily at home as well as on public occasions. This is a prayer that will unite all, spiritualise your activities and reveal the golden Secret of Divine Living.

Swami Sivananda

Yoga and Vedanta

TWENTY INSTRUCTIONS

1. Get up at 4. a.m. daily. Do japa and meditation.

2. Sit on padma or siddha asana for japa and dhyana.

3. Take sattvic food. Do not overload the stomach.

4. Do charity ‑ one tenth of your income or one anna per rupee.

5. Study daily one chapter of the Bhagavad Gita.

6. Preserve veerya (vital force). Sleep separately.

7. Give up smoking, narcotics, intoxicant drinks and rajasic food.

8. Fast on Ekadasi days or take milk and fruits only.

9. Observe mouna for two hours daily and during meals also.

10. Speak the truth at any cost. Speak a little and sweetly.

11. Reduce your wants. Lead a happy, contented life.

12. Never hurt the feelings of others. Be kind to all.

13. Think of the mistakes that you have made (self‑analysis).

14. Do not depend upon servants. Have self‑reliance.

15. Think of God as soon as you wake up and when you go to bed.

16. Have always a japa‑mala on your neck or in your pocket.

17. Adhere to the motto ‑ 'Simple living and high thinking'.

18. Serve the sadhus, sannyasins and the poor, the sick and the suffering.

19. Have a separate meditation room.

20. Keep a daily spiritual diary. Stick to your routine.

These 20 instructions contain the essence of yoga and vedanta. Follow them strictly. Do not be lenient to your mind. You will attain supreme happiness.
                                          Swami Sivananda

tonight while i was doing meditation, i remembered how disciplined i used to be with my spiritual practice. i am going to start working on regaining that rhythm of daily spiritual practice. reading these instructions, i was a reminded that there's still a long way to go, but i am on my way. i will start with the instructions that are in bold first. i will let you know how this goes! right now i am really excited and feel like a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders.

wildness

the wild within me is trying to emerge
it's feeling repressed
i want to be free
open my arms and my heart, feel the connection to all living beings in the universe
run towards the water and float for hours
i want to feel deeply
i want to allow myself to process things slowly, to uncover treasures in experiences
find the sparkly light found in them
look within and connect
it's all inside, in that place where i am you and you are me
wildness, feeling alive

Wind

wind's presence invigorates me
                          fills me with passion and energy
I have a special relationship with the movement of wind
as i watched the moon shining last night, the wind took with him all my tiredness
i felt as if i had slept forever. a perfect way to start the weekend

this morning, i went to watch the sunrise. i had woken up early and was close to the beach
the wind was there to greet me
moving palm trees, playing with my hair, taking away any unwanted residues on the earth
bringing freshness
i sat and took it all in

i remembered once again why i like to spend time outside
nature brings me peace and balance

as i started working, i am noticing how i am spending less time outdoors
i need to find a way to slow down and have my priorities straight
discover a way to maintain personal sustainability while being part of the civilized world

Teresa

This is by far one of the best movies I have seen in a while. It's a biography of writer Teresa Wilms Montt. Great photography and poetry with a reminder of what it means to stand up for what you believe inand follow your heart wherever it might take you and until the end. If you get a chance to see it, watch it.

Los Tres Cantos
La Mañana

"Canta alma mía, canta a la mañana!
Canta con los pájaros, canta con los árboles, las flores y las aguas! Canta con el viento y la montaña, con el bosque y el llano encendido por el sol, que se te ofrece como un ánfora de oro desbordante de vida!
Canta alma mía con el grillo maravillado de luz, que mora en la corteza de los pinos y con la abeja ebria de perfume; canta con el águila solitaria en la cúspide de las rocas y con la hormiga laboriosa en las cavidades de la tierra!"

"es mi diario. soy yo desconcertadamente desnuda, rebelde contra todo lo establecido, grande entre lo pequeño, pequeña entre lo infinito...soy yo"

nature

it's so easy to get caught up in a fast paced rhythm in cities. today, i need to remind myself to spend more time this way.

"To go into solitude, a (wo)man needs to retire as much from her/his chamber as from society. I am not solitary whilst I read and write, though nobody is with me. But if a (wo)man would be alone, let her/him look at the stars. The rays that come from those heavenly worlds, will separate between her/him and what (s)he touches. One might think the atmosphere was made transparent with this design, to give (wo)man, in the heavenly bodies, the perpetual presence of the sublime. Seen in the streets of cities, how great they are! If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would (wo)men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile." Nature, Ralph Waldo Emerson

satsang

i finally made it to satsang (meditation and chanting) at the yoga warehouse tonight. some places are really special and have great energy, this is one of those places. just walking in, i knew and felt something shifted and opened inside me. the yoga warehouse family is amazing. it's great to have amazing friends that welcome you, i feel like this place and mohini and shyam have seen me change through life. they are also those people that can see right through me, there is no hiding. i love that. i was surprised to see an old student that recognized me from years ago. teaching is so beautiful. she is now a yoga teacher too. i am starting to feel settled here and i will soon start teaching again at the yoga warehouse, tuesdays or thursdays afternoons more likely. i can't wait!!

yoga has always been for me this very special practice and place that i can always go to, to find my balance, my center and all the strength needed to accomplish my dreams. i also love that it involves everything from my heart to my physical body. everything is important and exercising and having a practice that gives everything a space is sacred to me. today was amazing, i think i found a home!!! within walking distance to many fun places!!

sweet dreams my loves!!! i hope you all have a wonderful week filled with bliss, laughter and growth!!

life lately

walking
exploring
discovering
movement
letting go of the past
uncovering unknown and new ground
eye opening light
peace, silence
playing
taking softly and laughing loudly
saying thank you a lot
planing trips
making lists of places to visit
connecting with plants
missing dear friends
making new friends
spending quality time with great people
creating new circles
new beginnings, tons of them
honoring the cycles in my life
approaching growth holistically
thinking a little, but avoiding over thinking
loving all the doors that are opening
feeling great things approaching, like seedlings about to break out
fascinated with metamorphosis and butterflies
wanting to be close to everything
about to get a city bike and bike to tons of places, slowly and letting the breeze and the wind permeate every cell of my being

the queen and king of the garden

baobabrainbow eucalyptus

sundays are for walks in the park

el jardin botanico en coral gables

patience, family and green cards

yesterday, finally we received our green cards. after 8 years of being here, we are now permanent residents. i was home with dad and he came to me and asked me to take him where mom was, at her friend's baby shower. i looked puzzled for a second and he looked at me very seriously and said this is the only thing i will ever ask you. then, he gave me an envelop. i was skyping with mike, i opened it, my green card. i got to celebrate with mike long distance, what a perfect moment. i was happy to be able to share this significant moment with mike, he is such an important and amazing person in my life, i can always count on his support. he is the first person i want to visit after going to colombia for christmas. so i am planning on going to northern ireland in the spring of next year!!! mike also likes gardening, so i am excited to see him and his garden and maybe plant some beautiful seeds and seedlings with him.

then i got to masterpiece a surprise with dad. this is one very important thing about him. he loves surprises especially if they are for mom and grandma. dad's face lit up when i was looking for my mom's friend phone number. we grabbed a bottle of champagne. we always keep champagne in the fridge for celebrations. off we went to surprise mom, i wanted to bring mom flowers, but dad said i don't want to loose any time doing anything, i want to be with your mom. wow dad is amazing!!! we called my sister on our way. i heard dad's voice breaking up, i turned around and i saw a couple of tears running down his face. i love when people allow themselves to be touched and moved and are not scared to show their emotions. i felt like witnessing and being part of that moment with dad was such a special treasure that i will always remember.

we got to my mom's friend house. dad hugged and kissed mom. i cried while watching. i hugged mom and cried some more. yes!!! we are free again.

i had a little revelation yesterday. see lately when i am moved i cry. so i thought during my trip to colombia i would cry and cry and cry of joy off course. not one tear came out. i came back to the states and i cried when i had to go through immigration and then yesterday again. i understood yesterday, that my tears here where a sign of liberation, of breaking free from oppression, things i do not experience in the andean soil. i love the sound of "chains breaking"

one more step in the direction of liberation and illuminations. for the sake of all living beings let's break free of all forms of oppression and enjoy our lives together in peace, harmony, joy and love. i am so grateful to have such dedicated and loving parents. our family is not perfect, everyday we grow, but always at the base we have love and they provide me with a sense of security that is priceless and grounding. my family is a warm and fuzzy blanket of love.

consumption

i am trying to simplify my life and to be very mindful of the things that i buy. to be honest, i was a little worried when i went to colombia. i go crazy over colombian arts and crafts, i think it's one of my consumption weaknesses. i didn't buy any jewelry, earrings or necklaces, trying to reduce direct support from mining of any metals, even if it's just aluminum in earring hoops... i am finding that i don't really miss owning and/or buying things and that it's liberating to spend that time with people i love, instead if thinking that i want to go shopping either for me or for people. i hope that the people in my life are understanding and don't take this personally, so far everyone has been really understanding which i deeply appreciate. i am happy to share with you a list of what i bought during my trip, i think i did pretty good considering what i would had bought in the past

1 pair of shoes (made out of molas, entirely fabric, no leather)
1 cumbia (colombian floklore) dance outfit
5 cds (2 for me, 3 for gifts)
1 brownie (for sister),
1 guava paste desert box (for the office)
things that will last for a long time, stories, memories, pictures, unlimited appreciation for the beautiful family and friends that i have in my life

ok, on the sad note and as a token of transparency. i recently bought a new phone to replace the old one that died on me. i did consider not having a cel phone, which is something that i want to consider in the future, but i wasn't quite ready for that yet.  i will share with you, next time the question comes in, whenever this phone dies on me. hopefully not soon :)

i will keep you posted on future consumption!!!! reducing consumption to have more time to play and enjoy my life is sooo worth it!!

gardens and flowers

i am slowing down, i have been slowing down a little more every week and listening more. deconstructing urban pace and relearning cyclical natural rhythms in my heart. i love that i work in a garden, i want to make time each day to take even if a small walk, i want to get to know many plants and notice their fruit and flower blooming cycles. it makes me really happy when people share amazing things about plants. today, a friend shared that she had noticed that the cannonball tree had just started to bloom and that it only blooms in the lower part of the tree. it's such a delicate flower with such an interesting shape. we tried to hold fallen flowers as we walked back to the office and the petals would just gently fall. it reminded me of the pull of nature to close cycles, to be close to the ground to decompose and give life again. when i let go, i allow the universe to have a new beginning. i am the ground, the soil, the petal, the flower, the tree, we are all interconnected. i am you, animal, plant, mineral, water, air, soil, fire, sky, sun and moon.

i want to learn more, reclaim my forgotten journal. I remember when i dreamt of working with plants and when that seemed a far away dream, now i am beginning that path. it's incredible to see life unfold at the perfect time, when i surrender and i give my all without expectations and attachments. i have to remind myself that i am perfect the way i am and in that same way with the sincerity of my heart i will accomplish any and all my dreams. i want to start a learning journal about plants, draw and write observations, poems and inspirations. I am grateful to be able to work in a place where people care about their environment, about plants and where it's easy to hear someone that is really excited about gardening. i am happy to be in an environment where i can keep pushing my curiosity to learn new things and deepen my understanding of the natural world.

i have also seen birds at the garden, great egrets, ibis, hawks and cardinals. i am excited to begin sharing more about plants at the garden with you and to share my inner journey as i dig into the soil of gardens, flowers and plants.

colombia

I had let go of any expectations of my trip to Colombia. Life is so unexpected and I can still remember 8 years ago, when in a matter of a couple of weeks my whole life changed and I moved to the States. I went to Colombia 8 months later and would have never imagined that it would be over 7 years since I would be able to come back.

I felt taken cared of every single moment I was in Colombia. I was deeply touched to see loved ones and how easy and natural it was to transition into things. It felt like I had never left... I have an infinite appreciation and gratefulness to know that I have an amazing family and great friends that love me unconditionally. Relationships based on unconditional love are like a garden that needs to be cultivated, in that same way during these last 8 years loved ones back home have constantly showered me with love and care. A letter, a call, a word of encouragement can cultivate so many great things. I am, because you are and when I share with you my life, my heart expands, grows and rejoices.

I really enjoyed being in the countryside and I am trying to learn and recover colombian folklore. I learned to follow my heart and to prioritize my time during my short visit. I was happy to choose to spend time with people I love without rushing from one place to another. There are many people I did not get a chance to see and places I love I did not get to visit, but I know I will be back soon, to give everyone the best that I know to give. I am proud of my heritage. The andean mountains will always be part of every single cell in my being. sitting in the grass of the andean mountains, i recover a soft part of my heart where freedom resides. witnessing traditions and giving and receiving love my roots became stronger and i felt grounded.

this trip was like a dream, a dream come true! next colombian stops: la sierra nevada de santa marta, villa de leyva and many wild and colorful places!

family explorations of the garden

These are all pictures taken by my five year old cousin on our visit to fairchild botanic garden. She loved it! I was so happy to explore with her and I was very impressed because a week earlier I had given her a book about monarch butterflies and she knew so much about butterflies. hands-on nature explorations always foster a love for nature and a natural and organic curiosity for learning.

andean mountains

i have a lot of catching up to do here. I will be uploading pictures of fairchild tropical botanic garden in coral gables soon with visits that i made with my family, mom and little cousins and another visit i made with some friends.

right now, i am writing as i sit at the fort lauderdale airport waiting to board a plane to go to Bogotá. It's the craziest, most beautiful feeling. I am nervous and excited, I actually have no expectations and most of all I feel so loved, in a matter of a few hours, actually really just minutes after planing my trip, people that I love, both family and friends reached out with messages and phone calls making sure that I would have everything I need while visiting, from a place to stay to ways to contact them. But what moved me the most is just to know how much they care and how much they love me.  It's been seven years!!!! since the last time I came and eight years since I moved away, however loved ones back home still write for birthdays and graduations and all of special occasion and it means so much. I really feel that they taught me through their example how to love unconditionally despite of distance and time, and how to be a good friend.

Driving to the airport, my eyes started to get watery and I know that I will cry for sure. I made sure to pack a box of tissues and I am ready to feel this whole experience with every single cell of my being, to allow every single cell of the andean mountain air be engraved in me, in my heart, in my body. My entire body feels extremely soft, it almost feels liquid.

So keep tuned, because I will make sure to take tons of pictures and I am sure that I will come back with stories of home, mountains, family, friends and I will come back a little bit more alive, more free, more myself. I am curious to see, how being back will affect me, change me and shape me and how it will feel to be back in the andean mountain range. I am praying for the altitude change to not be to bad.

feeling deeply

the path of activism has been a recent calling that has given me enormous passion and a way to externalize  my dreams for a better more just world. it's been rewarding and the most challenging path i have ever been on. now, i understand why i spent years devoting my life completely to yoga and meditation, so that i could begin this path with the inner strength to withstand the winds of hopelessness, anger and despair. 

today, i was reading julia butterfly hill's blog and i was so moved by the entry titled the meaning in life. 

"i LOVE how wonderful the Universe is sometimes. Other times, i rage into the darkness and feel like i have had enough of being alive. i am a woman of extremes it seems. i feel things deeply. Just about everything.

So when i feel delight and joy, i feel it completely. When i feel anger, sadness, and despair, i feel it equally deeply. Sometimes these feelings come in waves that are only moments apart.

And that is how my life has always been—except for the years i completely shut down and went numb because i did not know how to process it all. And sometimes, i still go through moments like that where i go through numbness and shut down.

But mostly, i work to remain present, open, loving, accepting, and in the space of gratitude. And the result is, i often end up having some pretty magical experiences."

i am the same way in terms of feeling, i feel things deeply and i think it's that openness to feel that has allowed to cultivate compassion for other beings, humans as well as all species in nature. i am writing this today, to reming myself, that even if the things i encounter in life, all the pain, all the suffering, all the injustice that lies underneath consumerism, capitalism, imperialism and all other ways of oppression existing in society today, become at points overwhelming, saddening and takes a toll in my own life. 

i will always keep fighting and standing up for all injustices in the world, for all the lives that are being sacrificed in the name of profit and that i will always strive to find ways to make this journey self-sustaining without becoming self-absorbed and that i will always strive to find new and creative ways and effective ways to stand up for you and for me and for us. i will always strive to give up a deeper part of myself and uncover new freedoms in which i can give my life more fully to being of service to the world.

my love and gratitude goes towards all the living beings that have stood up for social and environmental justice, those that have generously devoted their lives to protect the sacredness of all life and for all of you that have shared this road with me and have shown me my own power to create change. cheers for all the times we have celebrated our voice, our power, our interconnection and interbeing.

thank you so very much, i love you so much!!!! and because of you, i can continue this journey, i can keep fighting. may we keep supporting and celebrating each other for eternity!

Untitled

I heard today...
Luna's been cut.
Two-thirds and maybe more.

Someone in their rage,
in their anger,
in their frustration
struck out at Luna
wanting to hurt Her...
wanting to hurt me
the way they must be hurting inside.

See...
what we do to the Earth
we do to each other.
And how we treat the Earth
is reflected in how we treat each other.

The pain I feel right now that threatens to rip me apart
is the pain I feel every time I see an Ancient Elder cut...
the pain I feel every time another species goes extinct...
the pain I feel every time someone yells at a child...
the pain I feel every time another woman dies of breast cancer
caused by all the legal pollutants in her food,
her planet,
her life...
The pain I feel every time I think of Leonard Peltier locked inside
our prisons of disrespect and disconnect.
On and on and on
the pain in our world grows bigger and erupts.
Ricocheting bullets school yards and halls.
Chainsaws to sacred beings.
When do we begin to look at where this DIS-EASE begins?
In the disconnection from the sacred...
In the disconnection from the heart.

The person who ripped metal into Luna's flesh
is just as ripped apart inside as Luna now is,
as I now am,
as is the world.

May the tears that pour out from the depths of my soul
cleanse the sadness of any who would wish to react in rage.
The person who so viciously attacked Luna
has enough anger for the world.
May we love ever more
May we motivate ourselves to committed love in Action
May we motivate ourselves to live the life we wish to see in the world.
May we be the transformation we wish to see in the world.
From the inside out...
From the roots branching upwards...
From the heart
to thought
to word
to action.
Through life's trials and hardships
we can arise beautiful and free.

Julia Butterfly Hill