wholeness

in a world where it seems that there is no time
i took time
in a world where rushing from one thing to the next is the norm
i stopped to take a breath
i looked up towards the sky
i got carried away looking at a white egret patiently looking for food
he was not afraid to starve, he was not afraid of my presence just a couple of feet away
i got lost in time and tapped into my connection with all living beings on earth

i chose to stop running and start living
living fully
i can CHOOSE my life
i can LIVE in a way that makes me feel alive
i began to understand what Thich Nhat Hanh said: "peace is every step"
walking the path that would lead me to my dreams every single moment
walk my dreams from beginning to end
the process, the journey and the end are all important and the same
i can't be fully alive when i compromise the journey
i can't be fully alive if I pretend, close my eyes, following blindly, believing that i will accomplish my dreams that way
no way jose!

i lived outside and was part of a beautiful community
i discovered a treasure
i do not need much, we already have everything that we need to fulfill our missions
cel phones, computers, the latest car, high hills, a perfect body, recognition, a big house
they do not matter, don't you see it's all a lie
i do not need a cel phone to talk to you,
see when i call you or text you i do not get to see the sparkles in your eyes and i don't get to hug you
technology is robbing me of the gift of human touch
technology is robbing me of that tingling sensation when i touch you lover, friend, family and stranger
that tingling sensation that feels like this interconnected web of energy that reminds me that you are me, and i am you, that we are extensions of each other

i am not afraid anymore, i am not scared
see i can grow my own food if i want to
not only money can provide food on the table,
nature can feed me wholesome and nourishing food
the sun can be my warm shelter and protection
the stars can be my roof
the water of the rivers can relief my thirst
and shooting stars and the moon can be the magical light that remind me that there is light in the darkest night of winter
i want to live consciously and mindfully
running from one thing to the next, felt to me as if a part of me was taken away
i wonder what we are so afraid of, why run so much?
it reminds me of the flight and flee response
are we just reacting, trying to survive?
what are we running away from?
what are we escaping from?

i reclaimed those quiet, empty places
i made them my own
i made them my temple
my solitude is where i found self-love
my solitude is a place of communion with myself
                      a place of self-discovery
when i reclaimed my solitude
i reclaimed self-love
i sowed the soil for truly giving, for generous unconditional loving
because i was whole
i was not looking for you, family, lover, friend and stranger
with a hidden agenda, with the expectation that you would complete me
because i am whole and beautiful just like you

if i can spend time with myself and be happy, i can spend time with you and give you seeds of happiness
i am interconnected and interdependent, but i can also rely on myself
i can recognize and celebrate my contributions in the world
and i can i do the same for you
there in that space of equality and truly giving
i can give you without expectations
my unconditional love