patience

this is a big one right now...
i feel i can be patient in many areas of my life, but the area that is the most challenging for me to be patient is when things are not running freely and smoothly with people i care about deeply. even though i believe that conflict can be a natural part of life and growth, and i have made peace with that part of conflict. My tendency is to want to deal with it immediately and transform it. I find it hard to sit with conflict, make friends with it and look at it deeply. i usually feel something inside of me shacking and my body feels stiff and ungraceful.
the thing is that not everybody deals with conflict the same way and some people need more time than others to transform an environment. obviously, since this is an area that i need to work on, it's not a surprise that many of the people i care about the most deal with conflict in other ways. it's part of the reflection of myself in others showing me clearly the areas in which i need to grow and polish my life. to all of you thank you for showing me and being willing to live this path of growth side by side with me.

so this year, i chose to be patient and sit with conflict when it arose at home, peacefully looking at it, trying not to judge it and simply wanting to look at it to learn from it. it wasn't easy, it was very hard. every day i reminded myself that this was happening so that any impurities found deep within my family would be purified and our family would shine truly from the deepest part of our hearts. i chanted like i never had before and i was surprised to see that i was happy in the midst of everything. i wanted to create the biggest spring cleaning my family had ever seen in their lives.

now, a couple of months later, this work is paying off and when i had finally completely surrendered all my judgement, expectations and pride. everything started falling into place naturally and beautifully. sometimes we just need time and space with no judgement and pure unconditional love.
climbing this mountain seemed impossible a couple of months ago and i could not understand how everything could change so quickly? i thought what happened to everything i had built? how can everything vanish so quickly in seconds?

i am happy to share that everything was there, nothing had gone anywhere. my family was growing closer together slowly and with patience. i can now celebrate the strong bonds that hold us as a strong team, even if we have differences. they love me so much and i love them so much. i am determined to never forget this, to never doubt their love. i want to always honor them. their happiness is what is most important to me! i vow to always see their potential and grow forever grateful, patient, kind and loving in the face of whatever comes our way.
it's also good to remember that when looking carefully everything is full of love

mom, dad, marcela
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE